A kind of blah day....

Well, it's Sunday and it's been an overall decent day. But I can't seem to get my mood up out of the gutter. Maybe I'm exhausted from spending the last 3 weeks sick. Thank goodness I'm on the mend now but I'm just tired. I have so much to be thankful for but today is one of those days that I just want to crawl into my bed and not get back out of it.

My biggest worry on my mind right now is my mammogram on March 10th. I had 2 done 6 months ago and they found a lump but the doctor said it didn't look like anything serious, so have another mammogram done in 6 months. Well 6 months has come and gone and it's time to go back. The lump is still there but I won't know if it's gotten bigger or not. I know it's very tender in that area. I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm afraid that I will get news that it's grown or something and I'm not ready to go down that road. I know thousands of women have to go through this but I'm just not ready. I know I'm putting the cart before the horse but my mind always imagines the worse. Fear is such a horrible monster. It feeds off your every emotion and freezes you.

Hopefully it will be nothing and it won't have grown, so now just to wait and see. I hate waiting......

Being a parent is tough.....

As I write this, families are in mourning. A wife lost her husband, children lost their father and perhaps just as sad.....a family lost their only son.
How do these lives intermingle and criss cross?
One was a decorated police officer who has given 25 years of service to the city. One was a scared teenage boy looking for a thrill and scared to get caught with a gun he had bought off the streets days earlier. Sadly their paths crossed and tonite a wife is explaining to her children why they will never see their father again while a set of parents is mourning the loss of their 16 year old son. He's still alive, but all their hopes and dreams they had for him no longer exist. He will be in prison for the rest of his life.
Now before anyone thinks I'm feeling sorry for anyone, stop. 
There is just no way to make this situation better. Both families will suffer. A father will never get to see his children grow up, never get to walk his daughters down the aisle on their wedding day, never get to experience the joy of grandkids. A mother and father will never get to see their newly turned 16 year old drive, never get to take pictures of him escorting his date to prom, never get to see him get an education or to graduate, never get to plan a wedding, never get to have grandkids.
As i think about my own children, I can only imagine what these parents must be going through. He was a well educated young man who obviously went down a wrong path. It must really make them question what they did wrong. It's probably something they will ask themselves for the rest of their lives. People who knew the man and his family were all shocked to hear of this tragedy. I think that he should have to be punished for what he did, he took a father and a husband away from his family, but at the same time he is still a kid. Yeah he's 16 but he's a child. Kids have no understanding about how "FINAL" death really is.
My heart is heavy, sad for both families, sad that innocent lives are lost.
Parenting is hard, it's a job not for the weak or meek. All we can do is teach our children to respect life, respect each other and hope and pray that what we teach them sticks and they don't make a rash decision that changes their entire lives. I would love to put my children in a cocoon and protect them, but that is not how it is supposed to be. We are supposed to nurture them and teach them how to be upstanding adults and good loving people. Sometimes we as parents make mistakes, but you can never prepare yourself for something like this. My hearts go out to both families....

Influenza - 4, Eversole family - 0

Well week 2 of the Influenza bug floating around our house. Last Monday Jaden got to go to the pediatrician and was swabbed and tested positive for influenza (aka flu). A week of no school for her and catering to her as she lay on the couch with a box of tissue and cough drops. Tuesday brought the germs into my nose! Go away! Wednesday Damon ended up with it!

Fast forward to today......After spending all weekend in bed feeling like crud, Emmy woke up this morning with the fever and the sore throat. Off to the pediatrician we go again and guess what.........she has Swine Flu!!

I'm over the flu, it needs to go spread it's germs to someone elses house, preferably not mine. So Emmy is home this week from school, I'm predicting that Josh will be making the last trip to the doctor next Monday! I hope not, but I'm prepared now, with Clorox bottle in hand!

The day is almost here...

Well here it is, less than a week until the most romantic day of the year......valentine's day.

As I lay here in bed sick with the flu I'm watching Glee. Its full of romance, love and teen angst. My 6 year old said, "when am I ever gonna get a real valentine?" I had to smile because I remember saying the same thing. Not at 6 but around 14 or so. When you don't have someone in your life that makes you smile, you always wonder if you will ever find true love. You dream and wonder what true love will be like.

I'm so blessed to have found my valentine so early in life. Once I found him, everyday seems like valentine's day. That's when you realize how commercial and cliche valentines day has become. February 14th is a day for those who don't make the effort the other 364 days of the year. When you know love and you get to experience it everyday, february 14th is just another day. Don't get me wrong, I am a hopeless romantic but to me everyday is and should be like valentines day. So I am blessed to have been able to spend the last 15 years as if everyday was valentines day.

Sick.....

Germs germs go away....go to someone elses house today! I took Jaden to the pediatrician yesterday and she tested positive for influenza...aka the flu. Now today I woke up feeling like I've been hit by a huge truck! I'm trying to stay secluded because I don't want Damon getting sick since he's scheduled for surgery on the 23rd. I hope this passes soon!

Reminiscing.....

15 years ago

 

 

I pulled out my tubs of love letters last night. What a trip down memory lane that was for me. Reading letters that were written 15 years ago from a young Marine to his beloved Little Princess. I always love pulling them out from time to time, just so I can look back and remember how we started and how we have overcome so much just to be together. It has never been work, it has never been a struggle. Our love for each other has always been the most important part of the day. Regardless of what each day brings us, at the end of the day we come to the same conclusion. I LOVE YOU!

What a powerful statement those three words can be, it can get you through the best of times and the worst of times. Love is always there to catch you when you fall, Love is always there when the good things come. Love is a celebration of two souls uniting to become one. I can honestly say that never once have I looked back at the love we've shared and regretted one second. Love makes you grow, makes you cherish every second of every day with the one you love. Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous. Love changes everything. Love makes you feel like everyday is the first day. I have been blessed and am continually blessed to call him mine. He loves me unconditionally, on my worst days and on my best days and all the days in between. I love him the same. "I Love You" is said in this house more than anything else. No matter what obstacle gets in our path or what hurdles we have to overcome, we do them together. 

I feel blessed to share this blog with whomever reads it. I wish that everyone could be as happy as I am, genuinely happy and content. It is an amazing feeling to be with your beloved.

A small miracle would be nice....

Just a small one, teeny tiny. Things seem so compounded right now. It's a new year but financially we are so strapped. I took a leave of absence from school so I could stay home and help Damon out when needed and to get the kids to and from school. Having 1 car really makes that difficult at times. Thank God I don't have to work right now, even though the extra income would truly help. Still waiting on the VA and SS to come through for us, seems we've been waiting forever and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I just pray that this is a good year for us, even though it's starting off a little bumpy, financially speaking.

Another day almost down, another day to look forward to.

Reynauds and RSD

So it's been awhile since I updated everyone with the comings and goings of what goes on here......so here goes...

Well we are getting closer to getting answers.....We know that Damon has RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystropy) also known as CRPS type I and II. His newest and BEST doctor we have seen is a Pain Management doctor and he has also diagnosed him with Reynaud's disease. It is a disease of the circulatory system where his hands and feet are cold, they get red and blue blotchy and it's very painful. I'm sure you can google this and find more info about it. There is much more than what I described but I don't feel like typing all the medical jargon.

He's been on a cycle of pain meds for several months now, this doctor is phenomenal. He switches the meds out every other month or so to avoid the addictiveness and it helps. He has him on some good sleep medicine too so that helps. Next month he is going to a neurostimulator specialist and they are going to put peripheral leads into his ankles and place them directly on the nerves affecting certain parts of his feet, then they will tunnel the leads through his calf and place the actual stimulator under his thigh muscle. This has to be done on both legs. Then they will go in and put leads into his wrists affecting his hands with the leads tunneling through his bicep muscle leading to the stimulator behind his chest muscles...This will have to be done to both sides as well, with one battery pack running both stimulators for his hands. The specialist said this approach will work better since his pain is in certain areas and he won't have the issues he has now with his current stimulator and it not working how it needs to work. They will be taking his current stimulator out and using that as the battery pack for the ones they will place in his hands....so it sounds like a lot but the doctor says this is all done as outpatient surgery! Technology is amazing!

So we keep on going, keep hoping that this will help with some of the pain. At this point, a little relief is better than no relief right?

We keep fighting the good fight, now I just wish the VA would step up and do their part, YEP still waiting.....I hope that all this time waiting will pay off in the end.

I hope this has answered some questions, google those things above and it can give you more then enough information....there is so much out there!

Hugs to everyone!

The last 15 years.....

Ok, so we were sitting outside talking about where we were over New Year's since we met and we came up with them....it wasn't too hard, but it's so funny to look back and remember where you were, what you were doing and the hopes and dreams you had for the coming year!
1995 - I had just arrived in Sasebo, Japan (had seen Damon but not met him yet)
1996 - Damon, Josh and I went to Las Vegas on a whim, we wanted to see a hotel blown up, but they ended up doing it early and we missed it. Went with our CRAZY neighbors and ended up having to drive back at like 2 a.m. because all the hotels were booked up. I had to stand outside the casinos with Josh since I wasn't old enough to get in!
1997 - 119A Wonju Circle, Camp Pendleton CA (our 2nd base housing)
1998 - Spent the holidays at Damon's mom and dads in Lodi, CA
1999 - Mom came to visit while Damon was on deployment, I think I went to bed early. Jaden was just a couple
months old. Damon came home on January 8th, 2000.
2000 - 281 Himmer St, Camp Pendleton, CA (our 3rd base housing). This is the year I met Sasha. WOW! 10 years!
2001 - 281 Himmer St, Camp Pendleton, CA
2002 - Went to the snow in the mountains and the beach the same day...We lived on Cuyamaca. This would be our last New Year's in California!
2003 - Annandale, VA. Had people over and played board games....
2004 - I think this is the year we spent the holidays in Illinois....
2005 - Washington DC, went to see the national tree with friends, ate at Hooters. Our last New Years in Virginia!
2006 - I worked at the club that night, Damon went home early cuz he wasn't feeling well, still a fun night! Our first New Year's in Florida!
2007 - I was pregnant with the twins, we went to bed early.....
2008 - Mt. Carmel, IL. All of us were home for the first time in 4 years. Played Rock Band and cards and drank with my brothers and sister! We had a blast!
2009 - UGH....little did we know that 2010 was to be a year that we'd rather forget! Damon was sick in bed, Thomas was over lighting fireworks and I watched SVU all day!
2010 - Played Rock Band and Wii with Emmy, danced and played cards, snacked and had some wine, sat out on our porch listening to fireworks and wondering what 2011 will bring us! I'm blessed that my family is together and my best friend is here with me!

2011....what will it bring?

Well we made it to 2011! We also made it to 15 years of being happily married! I felt like blogging since I just found another woman on here that is in the same situation as we are. RSD and how it affects her husband and all the changes that their lives have taken. WOW. I knew there were others out there that were in the same boat, but reading her blog made it seem like it was one I would have written. It's nice to know that we are not alone in this fight and that others are going through very similar situation and trying to make the best of it.

So what will 2011 bring? I hope nothing but happiness and good times with good people, good friends and being together. Maybe I need to change my outlook on things and start everyday with a positive thought and keep it going the rest of the year. No more pity parties, no more being angry with a situation I can't change and looking forward to each moment I've been given to enjoy time with my husband, my kids and my best friend. :) I am determined to make this a fantastic year, regardless of what speed bumps and hurdles pop up along the way....